


I Know

by fyeahimking



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: ASTONISHEd, M/M, actually i really dont care, and i am astonished, and in my stories, he'll always be christopher pilgrim in my heart, honestly where the fuck did i get that last name, in fact, okay i looked up chris' name because of this right, pilgrim - Freeform, pilgrin, sorry - Freeform, to see that it is not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 12:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9550166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahimking/pseuds/fyeahimking
Summary: Chris is leaving and Josh's mouth won't work.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is shit and I am shit, sorry. 
> 
> honestly i spend more fucking time working on the formatting than on the fucking piece
> 
> this probably isn't what you thought it'd be and it probably isn't all that good but I liked it while I was writing it. (???) I haven't read it, not even to edit it grammatically yet but I will, don't worry. 
> 
> This kind of came from a list of prompts titled 'the way you said "i love you."' this is based on 'as a goodbye' and (sort of) 'in a way I can't return.' It was originally like Chris is leaving for school or something but I kind of thought of it as a more final goodbye than school (cause, you know, you'd come home for holidays and shit.)
> 
> Sorry if this isn't what you wanted or it isn't amazing, this definitely isn't my first Chris/Josh story but it's the first one I've really ever felt confident enough to post, other than the group chat. If you like it thanks, if not, thanks for reading anyway.

“I love you.” Chris says.  


“I know.”  


Josh hitches his backpack higher on his shoulder, Chris doesn’t know why, it can’t get any higher.  


Chris runs a hand through his hair. It’s too long and Josh watches as it drops down, touching Chris’ forehead.  


The words are there, stuck behind his teeth. The flavor sticks underneath his tongue, ash and strawberry hair gel. (Chris’ not Jess’.)  


The train pulls into the station, the door a few feet away. People flood out onto the platform and Chris watches them, unaware of the way Josh watches him.  


His heart hurts, it feels like it’s being twisted. It’s different from the way the depression squeezes it, different from the way it gets clutched when he misses his sisters, different from the way it's flattened when he worries about his friends. It’s worse. It’s not just his heart this time, it’s his ribs and his lungs, even his stomach is shifting and squirming.  


The crowd mostly clears, people start climbing onto the train. Chris looks to Josh, back to the train doors, back to Josh. Josh tries to smile, he licks the inside of his teeth, tastes the ash and the gel and the words.  


“Guess this is it.” Chris shuffles his feet, eyes his untied shoelace, ignores the voice that tells him how nice Josh looks. “See ya, Josh.”  


“Bye, Chris.” Chris is already up the steps and he barely hears Josh’s words. Josh watches him move down the aisle, watches him smile at other passengers, watches him put up his luggage.  


He takes a window seat. His eyes glide across the dwindling crowd outside the train, a few other people waving at their friends. Chris’ eyes skate right over Josh, whether on purpose or not Josh doesn’t know.  


His mouth still tastes like ash and strawberry but the words aren’t there anymore, they’re ready.  


“I love you.”  


A girl a few feet away eyes him before turning back to her friend.  


He stares. He stares until Chris meets his eyes, until it feels like he can’t look away. “I love you.”  


Chris smiles for a moment, a split-second then it’s gone. He blinks a few times, raises his eyebrows. Josh nods, tries to smile. He’s never been all that good at it.  


The train doors close, Chris smiles again, it’s dim, a little tight but it’s still a smile. Then he’s gone.  


Josh hopes he’ll remember his smile.


End file.
